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| I'm amazed by my ability to do nothing all day for the past two months.
I am also amazed at how easy it is to "break into" New Quincy. The
gates are all locked up during the summer, mainly because they are
doing construction, but they boarded up one of the gates, so Kath
managed to go under the board, I went over the board, and Mo went
through one of the holes in the gates. Then, we found an open window on
the ground floor, pushed out the screen, and climbed in. And
apparently, the door to the staircase just kinda pulls open, so yeah,
we managed to get onto the 6th floor with little trouble. It was rather
exciting.
So i discovered craig;'s list today (as if I really need anything else
to distract me). I wonder how many people actually respond to the
personal postings. Also, I wonder how many of the personal postings are
real.
This is lame. I think i like writing in my journal better. bleh. 
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| All I want right now is to stop thinking about non-academic parts of my
life. But all I REALLY want right now is a guy to take walks with, to hold
hands with, to hug, to gently kiss, and to just be comfortable and
happy with. *sigh* 
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| I really hate being a girl and forming emotional attachments when none
are necessary. I don't even know what is going in my head. I know I
don't have a relationship with this guy, and that our "relationship" is
based almost purely on hooking up, and that I don't think of him in
terms of liking him, so there is not emotional aspect to whatever we
have. At the same time, I make myself feel lonely when he doesnt want
to hang out. Actually, I feel rejected and lonely. It's so dumb, and I
really wish I wasn't like this.
I should actually just stop this. It's one less thing to stress about.
Yet, everytime I hang out with him, I'm happy. I think I really need to
just find the right guy and settle down. I'm not content with searching
anymore. I haven't been doing a good job finding someone to settle down
with. In fact, I have yet to think of a guy I've dated in those terms.
The only guy I've ever thought about in that way I let slip away and I
doubt I will ever have a chance to figure out if he is (was) the one. I
need something sure in my life of uncertainty. I don't know where my
life is going. Nothing is for sure anymore, and it's a scary feeling.
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| I have just had an epiphany. I've been so scared to graduate and move
on with the next phase of my life. I don't want to leave all the
friends I've made and the comfort of being iindependent while being
dependent. But I just thought back to how I was at the end of high
school and I remember being just as scared about the thought of moving
on to college. And now look at me. I love college - it was one of the
best experiences I've had so far. I think that's made me less scared to
graduate now and more eager to explore what else life has to offer.
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| For some reason, I tend to workout on days after I've had no sleep.
Subsequently, after showering, I pass out on my bed and don't wake up
for several hours, and by the time I wake up, most of my day is gone.
Blah.
So today, I had to go into Boston to get something for my mom. I
managed to acquire two transfer tickets, so I was gonna go to Rosie's
bakery to get the chocolate orgasm brownie (or whatever those are
called) via the 69 bus. 1) I hate the 69 bus. They are never on time,
which is rather frustrating when the temperature with windchill is
rather cold. I ended up waiting 45 minutes for the bus to come...
longer that it would have taken me to walk to Rosie's AND walk back AND
get my check out some books from widener. But I waited anyways, and
then, voila! Rosie's was closed and had been closed for an hour. SO
mad. So then, I decided I preferred to take the bus back (cuz i still
had one transfer ticket left), and at the stop, there were these two
old Ukranian women, and one of them started commenting on how beautiful
my hair was. It was nice and flattering, and then she started talking
about how all asian and latina females have beautiful hair and how it
is her goal to find out what our ancestors ate so that we could have
such beautiful hair written into our genes. And then, she was like, I
would like a strand of your hair. Kinda freaky, but whatever, she was
an old harmless lady, and I didn't actually think she'd do it, but she
ended up pulling out a strand of my hair (actually, I think it ended up
being 4 because my head kinda hurt afterwards... there was a
bee-yoo-tee-ful ripping sound  ).
That's all.
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